May you have to teach your programs to your dads by phone yourselves, Here's a pox on all programmers, puttin' crapware on your shelves, When he says, 'Oh, yeah, son, one more thing - how do you sell stuff on eBay?' My room is trashed, my plants are dead, and there's green slime on the wallsīut his 'puter's running smoothly, I can finally get away, Never mind it was in Russian, now I'm tech support for Dad.Īfter thirty seven reboots, and a dozen clean installs, Service packs and driver updates, he needs every single thing,Īnd he gets online by dial-up, so he might be done by spring,īut he trusts that I can fix it, his beloved college grad,
Turned out he'd bought this Compaq before Clinton was impeached. I said I'd try to find out if his firewall had been breached, He had Bonzi Buddy, Comet Cursor, and Quicktime 3.1. It took seven tries to get him to the Start menu and Run, I've been on the phone long-distance doing tech support for Dad. There are bamboo shoots and water torture, German blondes named Gert,įilms with Adam Sandler and lots of other things that hurt,īut it's not my job or girlfriend that finally drove me mad, 'Hi there, son, could you call me back? My computer's running slow.' I was hoping I could just go home and sleep the night away.īut the message waiting for me was the worst a man could know:
It had been a long-ass work week, it had been a long-ass day,
